Le Grand Saut

I took a physics exam. I got a 93. The class average was a 72. I was stoked.

I’ve been doing the homework for the next few chapters. I’ve been getting nothing higher than a 50.

What do people do after the engagement?

As in immediately after? You put the ring on the finger, you kiss and hug, and then what? The girl calls her friends and family and the guy sits there thinking, “Hell yeah! It worked.”? Do you high five eachother?

Then, seeing how they presumably drove to the spot where the proposal happened, they get in a car together and drive and talk about, what, wedding details? Where to go eat? ”Welllll, your FIANCE doesn’t really feel like Chinese”

And then they get home, take of their jackets and scarves and shoes. They presumably do the nasty in celebration. Or do they go to family and friends and share the proposal story, or sit on the couch and watch TV?

I just feel like the proceeding hours would be kind of weird. “Go us. Now what?”

Notable compulsions of the last month.

Playing Blokus with family and friends. Have to continually check placed board pieces to make sure they are sitting in their squares, over and over, much to the annoyance and disdain of the others. They think their yelling and reinforcements of “IT’S OK.” and “STOP! THEY ARE FINE” will somehow relieve the anxiety. All it does is make it worse. They act as though it’s something I want to do, or like to do. I don’t. I hate it. Blokus will not be in my future.

In class taking notes. Notice a previously written word on my paper doesn’t look right. “Organic”. Erase and rewrite. Again. And again. And again. Still not right. On the verge of tears. After about 30 seconds of rewrites, it’s back to being acceptable.

Sitting at computer. Highlight a paragraph. Click off to the side. Highlight paragraph again. Click off to the side. It’s not right. Repeat for a dozen times until it feels like a good selection of the SAME EXACT WORDS IT’S BEEN EVERY SINGLE TIME. Move on.